Can't Win Them All
by yahnu96
Summary: Heroes are never meant to outlive their time of use. Garrus finds Shepard after the Crucible fires. Shep/Liara pairing.


He found her amidst the rubble of the dying human city, the first one he'd ever been to, and hopefully the last one that he would ever have to see in such a condition. Garrus gazed for a long time at the broken body encased in charred armor that lay before him, her fiery red hair - now dirtied and burnt - slowly, gently blowing in the wind that carried with it the scent of acrid smoke and blood. He keyed his omni-tool locator and requested a medical pick-up, not giving specifics. Garrus wondered how he was going to tell Liara. Or Kaidan, who still carried a torch for the commander to this very day, despite the words they had exchanged on Horizon something like a year ago. He could remember it with perfect clarity.

_"Cerberus, Shepard? You've got to be fucking kidding me." Garrus had never heard Kaidan utter any such epithets before. The male human's face was flushed red. Garrus' visor picked up his pulse and heart rate, but it was beating so hard that he could hear it without artificial help._  
_"I'm not working for them, I'm working with them, goddamnit," Shepard had shot back, her blunt human teeth grinding. She had always been a pinnacle of calm and determination – something that Garrus aspired to every day – but now, she was seething. _  
_"Go to Hell, Commander... If you're even her."_

How times had changed. At least Shepard had been reunited with Liara shortly after Horizon, short and cold as that reunion was. But they had fully reconciled during the takedown of the Shadow Broker, and one more thing was right in the world; Garrus had cracked a joke that the entire galaxy sighed in resignation the day the commander was no longer available.

He had never bothered to mention that he was among that large number.

Now that he thought about it, looking into the empty, bloodied face that had once held so much energy and life, he could count the number of people who didn't have a thing for Shepard on one (human, not turian – those extra fingers could be useful from time to time) hand: Tali always admired her as an older sister, and it was reciprocated; Miranda was icy cool with everyone, acting minutely human only at the very end of the Collector mission; Grunt fluctuated between being her adopted son and the family pet, and Zaeed would never love a woman like he loved that old beat-to-shit rifle of his. He supposed that Chief Williams could be counted among those few immune to Shepard's charm, but he'd never gotten the chance to know her back on the SR1 before Virmire.

Another regret. His list was getting longer by the day.

An old Grizzly tank rumbled by somewhere in the distance, its hull carpeted in crying and cheering soldiers. The celebration would go on for a long time, Garrus knew; he wondered absently how many children would be conceived in the next few weeks, and how many DIY distilleries were to be set up. The blood alcohol content of the entire galaxy was going to be unimaginable. He felt sick, light-headed, the warm trickle of his blood long forgotten in light of the crucible's lightshow. The thought that he could die out here briefly occurred to him, and he almost laughed. How cruel would it be to live through the past few years just to drop dead after it's all over? Garrus would feel cheated, being robbed of peacetime like that.

The unthinkable happened, so subtly that Garrus stood stock still a moment, wondering if he was hallucinating. But no… he wasn't.

Shepard was breathing. Shepard was trying to say something.

Quick as a bullet, Garrus was by her side, clutching a battered, disfigured hand, putting his aural cavity as close to her cracked lips as he could. The din of the battle still rang dully through his head, and he clenched his mandibles painfully tight to his face in an attempt to focus.

"Li… Liara?" He pulled back to look in her eyes, so much duller than normal.

"It's Garrus, Shepard. Liara's coming, she'll be here soon. There's a pick-up on the way." Well, that wasn't quite true; that last time he'd seen her was strapped to a stretcher in a makeshift field hospital, heavily sedated so didn't go running off after Shepard like he did. _Hypocrite_. But Shepard didn't need to know that; he could tell that she didn't have long, and though they'd always spoken about being truthful with each other till their dying moment if it so occurred, Garrus couldn't bring himself to tell her anything else other than what he knew she wanted to hear.

"…hurts, Garrus." Her tongue, swollen and missing a few pieces by his estimation, slid out and moved around her cracked lips.

"I know, Commander…Shepard. I'm sorry."

Shepard seemed to smile. "Had a good ride, huh, turkey?" He'd looked up that animal once, hearing it so often associated with turians. Didn't see the resemblance, really. Garrus settled on the ground beside her and sighed. "The best…chimp."

"A few regrets." She paused. "Lotta regrets."

"I don't think we need to worry about that anymore, Shepard. War's over, everyone go the fuck home and all that."

"Wish I coulda given you…somethin'."

Garrus glanced sidelong at her. She was slipping. "Something?"

"Been more for you. Sorry."

He was stunned. There had never been… _any_ hint that Shepard was anything but completely set on Liara, least of all an indication that Garrus was at all resident in that portion of her mind. His battle-addled mind reeled with the implications, and he was suddenly glad that he'd been the one to find her, though the guilt he felt on behalf of Liara came surging to the forefront.

"Garrus?"

"Sorry, Shepard. Must've spaced out for a second."

"S'okay. Tell Li that I love her, okay?"

For some reason, he suddenly couldn't stand the thought of her dying. "Don't. Just keep talking, the pick-up will be here soon–"

Shepard actually laughed. "Nah, Garrus. Time's up. Wish I coulda seen it through, but ah…" She started hacking, blood dribbling down her ashy chin. "Guess I couldn't win 'em all, buddy."

"Commander…"

"I'll see you at the bar, okay? Be waiting for you on the dance floor."

"Spirits, Shepard, you dancing is the last thing I want to see right after I die a no doubt horrific, violent death."

She laughed weakly, shifting slightly. Then she was quiet. Garrus looked at her motionless face for a long time. She was smiling, her teeth bloody and chipped. But it was still the most happy, carefree grin he had ever seen her give.

He got unsteadily to his feet and wandered away, unsure of where to go.


End file.
